Category Archive: sex

Motherhood and sex: Navigating post-birth desire

Ejaculating milk from my nipples during orgasm was not something I can say I expected, while I was expecting. It was a rainy afternoon during my third trimester and, without even aiming, I shot my partner straight in the eye. Fortunately, unlike semen, breast milk doesn’t sting and there was no burning or redness. In …

Between the covers: Sex and taboo in queer literature

As an author, taboo is a tricky field to navigate. My desensitisation to certain words and scenarios has been altered through my research and experiences. Depictions of violence, gore and sexual content fuel my curiosity to see how such descriptions guide readers into deciding what is acceptable in narrative and what is taboo. Queer literature …

Intersex awareness day: Thinking outside the box

This is an extract of a longer article available at the Intersex Day Project. Twenty years ago, Morgan Holmes, Max Beck and friends demonstrated as “Hermaphrodites with Attitude” outside a conference in Boston, and I had no idea. It wasn’t the start of intersex activism, but it was the first public demonstration that intersex people …

Safer sexting: Abstinence isn’t the only way

Our breakup had been awkward but civil. I was confident that in a few months we could begin a friendship and the subtle bitterness he felt for me would begin to fade. I exited the relationship with my long-distance boyfriend feeling sad but healthy and excited for the future. It wasn’t until a few weeks …

Non-penetrative sex: Shame, heteronormativity and climaxing without the destination

After I had penetrative sex for the first time, I did not feel whole. Not in the way the young adult pulp fiction I furtively devoured as a pre-pubescent tomboy promised me I would. Nor did I feel more like a woman. Not in the way a flower blooms, tilting towards the sun when a …

Culture Clash: Exploring cultural and sexual identities from Zimbabwe to Australia

When I was your age…” was how my Zimbabwean mother would often begin her lecture-sermons. “If God were to see you now,” she would say, in her rich and powerful African accent, and I’d know I was in for a long one. For many children growing up in the western world, the delivery of life lessons with a …

Sexuality and identity: More than labels

Flicking through the pages of a magazine like Archer, it’s surprising to think that there was a time when sex was taboo. Sex has since come to make up a large portion of our identity. Sex was once purely seen as something you did – an act, but now, sex has become who we are. …

Polyamory: The everyday realities of being in love with two people at once

I was 35 when I met my wife.  Madelina was dazzling and charming and utterly refreshing, not to mention 11 years my junior – a cute and sexy pastime, I imagined. Except that when I met her, I had a girlfriend.  Ruth and I had been together only two months or so.  She initially asked …

Feeding my desire: Intimacy and breastfeeding

I have always been fascinated by lactation. By breasts, breastmilk, the art of feeding.  As a queer person being raised in a fundamentalist Christian home, I’d gotten used to hiding such bizarre anomalies about myself. But in March 2008, the canopy concealing this unusual prepossession (even from myself), was blown wide open by a person …

Religion, sex and polyamory: A cross to bear

“MUM, WHAT ARE BUTT-PLUGS FOR?” my 12-year-old son asks at the dinner table. I yelp at the question before admitting I’m curious myself. “Some of those things are huge,” says my 20-year-old stepdaughter, helping herself to another serving of Caesar salad and recounting her recent excursion to a sex-toy shop, to “satisfy her curiosity”. Later, as I clear …

Butt politics: The complexities of anal sex

But I want it! I want it! I want it! He chanted like a prayer, even though his fear of the pain was enormous… The head of Fred’s cock pushed carefully into the sphincter. Slowly, lovingly, tenderly. And still Horst just couldn’t endure it. A wave of feelings swept through his body: fear, shame,anger… Since he couldn’t get a grip …

Sex sells toys: Gendered marketing in the world of adult toys

I needed to give myself a good pep talk before going to a sex store for the first time.   I knew that buying my first sex toy wouldn’t be something I’d regret, I just needed to expel the image of the stereotypical person who went into sex stores looked like. I didn’t feel like …

‘The SHE/HERS issue’ – Archer Magazine #6 out now

ORDER ARCHER MAGAZINE #6 HERE “We know what ‘she’ isn’t. ‘She’ is not a uterus. ‘She’ is not having a child, or being a daughter.  ‘She’ is not always paid less, though she is more likely to be. ‘She’ may change her pronouns; perhaps many times. We do know that gender is highly complex, entirely individual, …

Ode to amyl

Ode to amyl

The first time I tried amyl was not during sex. It was at a music festival west of Melbourne when I was about twenty-one. I’d lost my crew and during the search ran into my mate Dylan. He gave me a beer and dragged me to an experimental stage with a crazy light show and …

A woman’s work: Sex as a fat lady

For a fat lady, sex and desire are complex beasts. I regularly refer to the time I’ve spent learning how to love and fuck as ‘work’. While not a romantic turn of phrase, it’s a fairly accurate description of how it feels. Describing adolescence or adulthood spent in a larger body feels almost redundant these …

Archer Asks: Maeve Marsden, writer and member of Lady Sings It Better

Lady Sings It Better is a comedic cabaret made up of four women who perform misogynistic songs by the likes of Robin Thicke, Usher, and Nine Inch Nails. This tongue-in-cheek cabaret quartet is bringing their show to the Melbourne Comedy Festival, and Charlotte Long caught up with one of their members, Maeve Marsden, for a …

Happy endings, massage and exploitation: Stuck between a towel and a hard place

Sometimes the smallest shifts are the hardest to make. So you make a drastic move and opt, instead, to change everything. Moving to Australia from Turkey was that change for me. I came to Melbourne to escape an abusive relationship, the cultural codes stuck to my body from birth, my job as an art director, the prestige of my education …

Loving myself: How masturbation made me realise I was queer

My first time masturbating was more awkward than my first sexual experience with someone else.   Possibly because I had no idea what I was doing, uncertain as to what my body actually enjoyed, and because I was a fumbling 24 year old, alone in a sharehouse bedroom, desperately hoping nobody would hear the quiet …

How to have really good sex: Sydney’s forward-thinking festival

Want to learn erotic yoga, navigate non-traditional relationships, or sensually tie up the babe you met on New Years Eve? You might want to try Sydney’s Festival of Really Good Sex. Entering its fifth year, the festival promises five days of interactive workshops, films and discussions spanning topics like Mindfulness, Physicality, Creativity and Imagination, Movement and …

Sex, gender, identity: Top 10 articles in 2015

We’ve had a big year over here, at Archer HQ. We launched our ageing issue and our culture issue, expanded into the US, toured the UK and Europe, and won an award from the United Nations. Our team also doubled in size, to about 12 volunteers plus a whole heap of supporters. We always keep an eye on what our readers …

Choice and agency: Non-monogamy and STIs

I remember it clearly: falling for a Leo in the heat of summer. It was a season of trespassing, skinny-dipping, telling secrets on rooftops and sharing sloppy kisses when no one was looking. Winter had hurt me. Years of putting others first, of unspoken things, had caught up to me. I was exhausted. On the …

Sex, pleasure, and empowerment: Why ‘thou shalt orgasm’ is a flawed commandment

Have you ever had sex that was just kind of meh? The kind of sex where there wasn’t anything particularly wrong with it, there just wasn’t anything great about it either? Maybe even the kind of sex that you completely forget about after the fact? We tend to see these types of sex as ‘bad’ …

Sexuality - Gender - Identity