Stories about: sex

Porn as sex education

I don’t remember how I found queer porn. Maybe an ex told me about it? I do, however, remember the first time I watched it. I’ve never gone back to the specific scene, but I remember the gloves, the sweat, and how it made me feel: hot and bothered, sure, but also like I was …

It’s a familiar story: the casual coming out. A discussion over drinks with friends. The reactions from family when you tell them. Trying to explain to a potential partner that you have a label for how you experience sexual attraction, and how you identify as a result. But the coming out story for demisexuals tends …

It’s a universal truth that breakups, and being broken up with, suck. In this heteronormative world, we’re often told that you can’t be friends with your ex. But when queer friendships can quite literally be a lifeline, it’s hard to resist the urge to attempt to reconfigure and recontextualise relationships that were once exclusively sexual …

Content warning: This article discusses sexual assault.   “So, what do you do for work?” he asks as we sit on the outdoor furniture of my Marrickville neighbours’ back yard. The neighbours – muso kids – are having their regular Saturday night rager. Instead of telling the notorious party house to pipe down their 3am …

I’ll level with you, I type out. I kinda have no idea what I’m doing, so you’ll have to be patient with me. Her reply is immediate: That’s okay! As long as we both have fun with each other, that’s all that matters. It’s May 2020. Amongst everything else going on in the world at …

Ella Baxter is a young writer who has a deep connection to ritual, art and ceremony through her small business making bespoke death shrouds for funerals. Her poetry has been published in Spineless Wonders, Gargouille Literary Journal, and Bowen St Press. New Animal is being adapted by Marieke Hardy for a television series. New Animal has also been sold to Picador …

Remembrance of poppers past

“We don’t sell that here,” the burly bearded man behind the counter of the sex shop said. “I think you’re after ‘wood varnish’.” This was pre-COVID-19, before I was forced to buy ‘poppers’ online during Melbourne’s lengthy lockdowns. At first, I looked at him dumbfounded, not getting the gist of what he was implying. “So, …

I think about sex a lot. If you could take a microscope and peer inside my brain, you’d assume I was obsessed with sex and, in a way, I am. But it’s not the thought of actual sex that runs rings around in my head and tortures me in my sleep. It’s the fact that …

This year has been hectic, to say the least. To round out the year that we’d rather forget, we have put together a top 10 list of our editors’ picks for 2020. You will see some of the excellent pieces published this year, the most-read pieces and our older favourites. Our online editor Roz Bellamy’s …

Last Christmas Day driving from Melbourne to Adelaide, my partner and I stopped in my country hometown. It was empty, dusty, sunny – just as I remembered. As we drove past my old church, the full car park – an unwanted flashback of a thousand Sundays- made my stomach turn. Yet, a few hours later, …

I became single in the midst of a pandemic. Everything feels different, and not just because the process of uncoupling and change is unconventional in its slowness. I have felt a shift in the way I view all of my relationships, the ebbs and flows of connection and distance, valuing time I get with my …

In the morning light I went to my mirror and examined my ass. The heat radiating from it was enough to feel on my hand from centimetres away. Blackened rectangles puffed out against my pale backside. I pressed my index finger into my flesh and watched the colour change. My eyes shuttered close and I …

Coming out as polyamorous, in my experience, has been similar to the 14 years I spent coming out as vegetarian: some people are quick to tell me they are too, or would like to be. Others get defensive, as if I’m somehow criticising their life choices (I’m not), or say it makes no difference to …

Fluidity of sexuality

I had a sex dream last November. Nothing unusual for me, but this one was about a workmate. A male workmate. As someone who has staunchly identified as having no interest in cis straight men for a long time, I was incredibly confused. Obviously I know that dreams aren’t reality and just because I had …

Sugaring and mental health

I started sugaring for the money. Living out of home and watching your bank account decrease with every bill is a tiring experience, and after a gut-wrenching and generally nauseating break-up, I decided it was time to change that. Men my age were clearly incapable of giving me what I wanted, so I did what …

On a typical morning, Amber* wakes up between her loving partner and a phone vibrating with messages from other men. “Hey babe, send something cute on ur way to uni?” “Can’t stop thinking about that video last night … how about another one today?” “Can I watch you get ready this morning?” Amber, or Goddess …

I most frequently find kinship with bodies unlike mine. In this space between my body and theirs are shared ways of moving, shared language that describes us in archetypes, not individuals. It is from this space that I have picked up the language I use to describe myself, from this space that I can draw …

“I’m Pretty and I’m Handsome” – Jesswar, Savage (2017) I had used tape to strap down my chest for the first time earlier that day. It was my first live drag performance at Hamer Hall for disrupt, a show for the Yirramboi Festival. When I was 11 I would use bandages from the first-aid box …

My phone buzzes at 5:30 in the morning. I’m not usually awake right now, but I know that he is. Total Type A personality; figures. “Good Morning, Daddy’s little kitten”. Slight cringe. Will I ever be okay with playing the role of “Daddy’s little anything?” This is the sex-paradox; things that your brain will fully …

It’s one o’clock. There’s a pile of work in front of me that only seems to be getting bigger. My Spotify playlist has just come to an end. I feel a tingle down there. I could do with a break. I deserve a break. I disconnect my phone from the Bluetooth speaker and head into …

I’ve had grown men try to convince me that it’s fine for the plumbing if they flush their used condom down the toilet, nervously asking me what I do with the cum-filled bins at the end of my shift. As if the brothel in which I work is running an underground sperm bank for all …

Coronavirus and sex work

As the coronavirus erupts, people are panicking. Me, I’ve worked for seven years with the threat and awareness of illness and violence. My body has always been on the frontline with my work; viruses and infections are a risk with every client. Vigilantly checking he doesn’t finger me with the same hand he just used …

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Sexuality - Gender - Identity