Category Archive: polyamory

Pinkwashing, polyamory and butt politics: The most-read stories of 2016

It’s the end of a big year for the queer community, scattered with ups and downs, wins and setbacks, progress and what can at times feel like regression. During the end-of-year celebrations, remember to look out for each other, and seek out hugs and friends when they feel necessary. At Archer Magazine HQ, we’ve had a …

Conceptual Polyamory: the social and political weight of keeping options open

It was 2011 and I was in the Hunter Valley. I’d just had a very expensive indulgent meal and was ungrateful, scribbling furiously in my journal about how my family didn’t understand me. This is pretty standard fare for a seventeen year-old nearing the end of their high school life and dating a girl living …

Polyamory: The everyday realities of being in love with two people at once

I was 35 when I met my wife.  Madelina was dazzling and charming and utterly refreshing, not to mention 11 years my junior – a cute and sexy pastime, I imagined. Except that when I met her, I had a girlfriend.  Ruth and I had been together only two months or so.  She initially asked …

Religion, sex and polyamory: A cross to bear

“MUM, WHAT ARE BUTT-PLUGS FOR?” my 12-year-old son asks at the dinner table. I yelp at the question before admitting I’m curious myself. “Some of those things are huge,” says my 20-year-old stepdaughter, helping herself to another serving of Caesar salad and recounting her recent excursion to a sex-toy shop, to “satisfy her curiosity”. Later, as I clear …

Rekindling old flames: Reflections on Tinder, dating, and relationships

Jack* was late. I sat in a plywood booth off to the side of the small bar, worried that the dimly lit atmosphere was too romantic. Would he get the wrong impression? Should I move? I didn’t move. I pretended to write in my notebook, but my eyes were glued to the door. Finally, he …

Choice and agency: Non-monogamy and STIs

I remember it clearly: falling for a Leo in the heat of summer. It was a season of trespassing, skinny-dipping, telling secrets on rooftops and sharing sloppy kisses when no one was looking. Winter had hurt me. Years of putting others first, of unspoken things, had caught up to me. I was exhausted. On the …

Archer Asks: Sex Nerd, Sandra Daugherty

Sandra Daugherty is a podcasting, workshop-teaching, sexual-shame-fighting “sex nerd” based in Los Angeles, California. After just missing her in L.A., Amanda Bloom got her on the phone to find out about what’s new and exciting in the world of sex, gender, relationships, and general sex nerdery. Find Daugherty’s podcast, Sex Nerd Sandra, on Nerdist and …

Parenting and having a queer ‘tribe’

Our little person is co-parented. Four adults in two separate (but now kind of inter-dependent) relationships are actively involved to varying degrees at varying times in providing an abundance of love and care. We get to take turns on nappy duty, sleep deprivation, and having baby-free adult time. The next layer out involves a whole …

The joy of polyamory

The joy of polyamory

In my first year at university, I developed a major crush on a man. He didn’t appear to return it. Seven years later, he was married with children, and I was good friends with him and his wife. He and I had dinner one night and ended up kissing. We weren’t prepared for the torrent …

Sex addiction: Insatiable

Sex addiction: Insatiable

Do you get high from sex/romance? Does your sexual/romantic behaviour affect your reputation? These are two of the 40 questions on the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) website for self-diagnosis. The questions are broad and often contradictory (Do you keep a list of partners you have had? Have you lost count of the number of …

The Australian journal of sexual diversity.