Stories about: asexuality

At a party earlier this year, an acquaintance asked me if I was queer. “I don’t know,” I said. This person had been telling me about the Queer Beers event she was holding, and I was fascinated by her openness. Most openly queer people I had met looked bold. They didn’t look like Jo, with …

What does it mean to come out as asexual? What does it mean to identify as something that is essentially an absence? This is what I am thinking about, seven years into a happy straight-passing relationship with a cis-het man. It would be easy to continue in this relationship without coming out: just go on, …

Have you ever been part of a conversation where people talk about their sexual escapades with a brazen confidence? Ever tried to slink away from such a conversation because you don’t have anything to add, or are embarrassed to say what you feel? That’s me in the corner, losing my confidence trying to keep up …

I had sex for the first time when I was sixteen. My boyfriend and I had a hotel for the weekend. The first night he set up candles and turned down the lights. It was respectably romantic. I faked a headache. At this point we had been dating for nearly a year and I had …

My parents didn’t let me start dating until I was in university. Terrified of disappointing them, I waited until I was eighteen and in my first year of undergrad. Up until that point, the gender of a person didn’t sway my attraction to them, so I assumed I was attracted to all genders. I hadn’t …

I think Jason Momoa is one of the most attractive people on the planet. ​ I don’t want to have sex with Jason Momoa. This used to confuse my friends. If you talk to me about attractive people, one of the first people I’m likely to bring up is Jason Momoa. You know, Khal Drogo …

Three years into my six-year relationship, I realised I was (and am) asexual. I’d been grappling with my sexual identity for a long time before that, without really knowing what I was. I knew I wasn’t gay, but that’s about the only option outside of the suburban heteronormativity that I was aware of. I didn’t …

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others. It doesn’t mean not having sex at all – in fact, many asexual people do have sex, and some enjoy it. Being asexual – or ‘ace’, as some of us call it – refers to a lack of sexual attraction, not activity. I first knew there …

The queer community has developed a tendency to enforce certain notions of sex positivity to the detriment of the true personal and sexual liberation of some of its members. This mimics the oppressive elements of the world of heteronormative dating that queer sexual politics is apparently different from. Manifestations of sex positivity, along with an …

Sexuality - Gender - Identity