Rad Sex and Consent Week is supposed to be about the sex-ed that you never got at school. It runs across the country at universities every year in first semester, and encourages discussion and a non-judgemental environment for sex talk. A workshop called ‘BDSM 101’ was scheduled to run as part of this year’s agenda, providing advice on how to practice BDSM safely and aiming to dismantle misconceptions surrounding the practice. The workshop ran last year, but this year it was cancelled at Monash University.

The Monash Student Association (MSA) cancelled the workshop ‘in response to some serious feedback from a number of members of the community that [the workshop] made them feel unsafe’. Many students believe that the feedback that led to the workshop’s cancellation came from a group of radical feminists on an anti-kink campaign. It has been alleged that this group made threats towards the participants and facilitators of the workshop, however this has not been confirmed or denied. When the MSA announced their decision to cancel the workshop via their Facebook page, students were vocal in their opposition, or support, of the MSA’s call.

Participants of the workshop in previous years have said that the workshop focusses on women, in all kinds of dynamics – submissive, dominant, and of many different sexual orientations – and tackles the 50 Shades of Grey view of BDSM that has unfortunately surfaced recently. Unfortunately, the infamous book series and now movie depicts BDSM as very much a straight, typically masculine affair where communication between the two main characters about what they want doesn’t really happen.

Photo by Todd Mecklem. Reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 license.

I believe that feminism shouldn’t be necessarily at odds with BDSM. I am a feminist and I don’t believe that BDSM promotes abuse. I’m the kind of feminist who believes that as long as women are in control of what they are doing sexually, it is our choice what we do, and let others do, with our bodies. I just don’t think that we fought for equality and freedom only to impose limitations upon ourselves, and other women, when it comes to sex. It saddens me that women who call themselves feminists can discriminate against other women based on their choices. It does no good to demean anybody’s decisions or belittle consent by calling somebody a victim of abuse.

The responses to the decision showcased misconception and presumption, perhaps demonstrating that the workshop was necessary. For sex to be BDSM at all, it relies on consent. BDSM sets itself apart from abuse because it establishes a fantasy, or role-play, that is removed from everyday life, with the safety of each participant in mind. A good starting point to remember with BDSM is that the submissive sets the limits. BDSM does not differ from regular sex in that both partners are interested in their pleasure and the pleasure of the other. The dominant partner knows the limits of the submissive, and exactly what they want from the fantasy.

The ideas behind the radical feminists’ approach to BDSM are hinged on the abusive connotations of the practice. Women who expressed the view that BDSM is immoral claimed that it cultivates a culture of abuse; that women are not consenting to it, but instead are unknowing victims. Those that put forward this view claimed responsibility for the request that the workshop be cancelled, however what does that say of the MSA? If the MSA gave in to pressure to cancel the workshop for these reasons, it shows a lack of understanding on their part. The cancellation of the workshop will only fuel misconceived notions of the practice of BDSM in the wider community.

BDSM is not only practiced between dominant males and submissive females in heterosexual relationships, as Robin Bauer points out – queer BDSM exists too. You can be of any orientation, of any gender, and you can make BDSM whatever you want it to be.

It seems that the MSA has failed to recognise this – that there is diversity among those students who wanted to attend. For an association that brings together different departments, including the Queer Department and the Women’s Department – both of which come together to organise Rad Sex and Consent Week – the MSA has somehow ignored members of both of these communities.

Furthermore, the radical opposition to BDSM highlighted a culture of abuse towards women. It’s not untrue that violence against women occurs far too frequently; in 2014 alone, half a million women reported physical or sexual violence, while many cases go unreported. These numbers, however, do not imply that abuse only occurs against women by men. There is abuse in the LGBTIQ community, which is recognised by the Domestic Violence Resource Centre of Victoria, though at this stage the centre only lists resources for lesbian relationships.

If we were to only see BDSM as a male and female, dominant-submissive practice, this would be too narrow. Likewise, it would be too narrow to say that abuse only happens between men and women. Radical views put forward by oppositions of the ‘BDSM 101’ workshop contained queerphobic sentiments that implied a lack of understanding of abuse within the queer community, and while these comments were removed by the MSA, the idea underpins the radical feminist argument. To say that BDSM endangers women is unreasonable to begin with, but ignoring that abuse happens elsewhere is wilfully ignorant. Why not say that BDSM endangers ‘people’, if you were going to argue this point? It seems discriminatory to not extend this idea of protection to others.

While the radical view that BDSM risks the safety of the community seems to have troubling implications, but it’s probably naïve to think that the damage done regarding the ‘BDSM 101’ workshop is due to this view alone. Anyone has the prerogative to disagree with the practice of BDSM if they don’t believe in it, however letting the view of one group detract from the opportunity of others to discuss and educate themselves on BDSM – something that they do happen to believe in – comes down to the choices of the MSA. In giving in to pressure to cancel the workshop, the MSA has shown support for one group over another. It has limited students’ ability to seek sexual education, and alienated many of the people they were elected to represent.

Rubee Dano is a Melbourne-based writer, editor and student. She is currently the Music Editor for Aphra Magazine and loves to write fiction when she’s not writing opinion pieces.