Archer Magazine has partnered with Melbourne Bisexual Network to amplify voices from the bi+ community. This article is part of a series to celebrate Bisexual Awareness Week, supported by the Victorian Government. 

You can read the other articles in this series here.

The week I got asked to write this article on bisexual pride, I experienced two bouts of blatant biphobia, lost all my savings in a banking scam and got mistakenly diagnosed with herpes. 

But don’t worry, I’m still holding on to my pan pride and I’m ready to eco-glitter bomb it all over you.

All images by: Jade Florence

I’m 35, and have been out for about 12 years. I wear my multi-gendered attraction out, proud and very loud. 

Over the last 10 years, I’ve built a career creating queer spaces, and for some part of this time I also worked as a high school teacher. 

I now teach workshops on LGBTQIA+ inclusion and produce queer parties (known as Unicorns). I’ve created a radio show to give a voice to queer youth, I’ve worked for a zillion LGBTQIA+ charities and I started a queer club at the last high school I taught at. 

And if anyone has seen me on stage, they would know I live by the motto: It’s not only okay to be queer, it’s fucking fantastic!

But being bi+ can also be kinda hard sometimes.

I lost people in my life when I came out, experienced lots of harassment, and needed to go into the closet when taking a job in the Catholic school system. I even ended up in court after being defamed quite publicly because of my work supporting LGBTQIA+ youth. 

I totally get that queer life is not always sparkles and rainbows. In fact, bi+ people have worse mental health statistics than our straight and gay counterparts, which gives us all the more reason to cultivate bisexual pride.

In all aspects of my life, I’m now very openly bisexual, but it wasn’t always like this. 

It has been a journey to feel that deep sense of pride in who I am. At times it still wavers, but I always find it again. 

So I’m going to fill you in on a few strategies that have helped me step into my bisexual pride and parade my pansexual booty, even when the mummy bloggers have tried to take me down. 

Bi+ community and events

Before I started Unicorns, I didn’t have any bisexual friends. 

I had some awesome gay-identifying pals, but no one was out as bi. So when we would go to a lesbian event together, I would just call myself gay to fit in. 

This helped me avoid biphobia, but defo didn’t help me find my people.

When I made Unicorns, I knew I wanted it to be a space where you were celebrated for all your queerness. To my excitement, all these AMAZING bi+ and gender-non-conforming folks found it, including people whose accessibility needs hadn’t typically been met in party spaces.

And for the first time in my life, I had people that really understood my lived experience. 

I could chat about queer issues and knew they really got it.

This helped increase my feeling of connection, ease some of the loneliness I had been feeling, and develop a stronger sense of pride in who I am.

So where do I meet other bi+ hunnies, I hear you ask! 

Here are just some examples of where to find community:

• Queer parties: I’ve got to start here, because I love parties. They’re awesome for letting loose, wearing clothes that express who you are and having those D&Ms in some dark corner. Look for ones that are labelled “queer”, rather than “gay” or “lesbian”.
• Queer craft and book clubs: These are perfect for those of us who love more quiet hangs! Try a meetup site or FB search to find one near you.
• Sporting teams: So I’m defo not a sporty queer, but I know a lot of bi babes who rock climb or play footy! There are also queer fitness groups, gyms and then there’s The Gay Games!
• Dating and friendship-making events: Again, look for events that use the word “queer” or “bi” to ensure you can date and meet people of all genders.
• Online bi+ groups: There are lots of these groups popping up, and they’re great for finding people with similar lived experiences. I often post in a Melbourne-based group when something not-so-sparkly goes down, and when I’m looking for some support from people who really get it.
• Dance classes: There are quite a few dance classes that are run by bi babes! If I lived in Sydney, I would 100% be at Sky Sirens every week, learning how to pole dance, while surrounded by wonderful queers!

Taking up space as a bi+ person

Taking up space can feel scary at first, but it can defo help bring about that bisexual pride goodness.

I hear so often from multi-gendered attracted people who are in hetero-passing relationships that they don’t bring their partner to queer spaces out of fear they’ll be read as straight. And I totally get this! 

The first time I had a partner who was a trans guy, I remember feeling like my queer identity had become less visible. 

I’d just moved to Melbourne, and was checking out a venue for Unicorns. The owner looked at me and my boyfriend and asked why I ran queer parties as a straight person. I also found conversations online from queer people who were asking why this “straight girl” was starting a queer night here.

I felt sad and frustrated; I shouldn’t have to explain anything to validate my queerness. 

But I’m going to tell you what I wish someone told me: If you identify as queer, then you are 100% queer. 

It doesn’t matter what relationship you are currently in – it doesn’t change anything. And you should totally be taking up space! 

As bi+ people, we need it more than ever. As a result of feeling like we don’t fit within either queer or non-queer spaces, our mental health can take a deep dive.

So my advice would be to find queer spaces where you feel safe and celebrated. And if you’re in a relationship, attend these spaces with your babe!

If you’re both into partying, bring each other! Pash each other! Hold hands! Whisper cute things in each other’s ear on the dance floor! 

And you know, the more of us who do it, the easier it’s going to be for the younger bi+ babes to feel more bisexual pride about it too. 

Win, win.

Best bi+ social media accounts

I love when I stumble across some slick bisexual online content. I love hearing about others’ experiences and having those sparkly moments where I’m like, “YES, I FEEL THAT TOO!”.

This can help us develop bisexual pride from the comfort of our homes, and normalise the feelings we might have around our queerness. It can also affirm that we’re not alone in battling issues around our bi+ identity.

Some of my top picks would have to be:

• Them: An amazing website and Insta account featuring awesome queer articles that really speak to our intersectional lived experience. They really nail the diversity in their content.
• Queeeerchameleon: This adorable chameleon fills you with queer pride in really sweet ways.
• Whits_tiks: A total legend who addresses the biphobic lived experience very well.
• Ssstorven: A wonderful bi advocate here in Australia.
• Karleemisi: A very talented bi+ babe. I just love watching her post-show dance vids, and her hilarious shoot your shot DMs.
• Lex.app: Lex’s Insta contains super queer informative content and memes – there’s lots of of bi+ goodness here too.
• Queersextherapy: Casey Tanner’s Insta (and TikTok) has lots of helpful info about navigating healthy queer relationships, sex, desire, unicorn hunters – you name it.
• Susanne Bartsch: This is my queer party-creating idol! She also has the best outfits on the internet. Look out for her Friday night vids where she parades her fits for the night.

Celebrating your bi+ pride

When we get together with our fellow bisexual pals, it can be really easy to focus on the difficulties regarding our shared lived experiences.

It can be really helpful to share and vent about the hard parts of bi+ life. But sometimes we just need to escape all of that and celebrate our queerness by having a bloody good time. 

Having fun as a bi+ person could look like anything!

For me, it’s all about watching some incredible performance art, dancing at Revs in hot pink latex until my friends beg me to stop talking to randoms in the smokos, or playing competitive card games with the Italian men at my local RSL. 

It could even be as simple as chucking on a bi+ t-shirt, grabbing a pansexual sticker and painting your nails with the bi flag colours. Or making a giant headpiece that says “Pan Pride 4 Lyf”. I did this once at Mardi Gras, and I made a lot of buzzy new pals that year.

Bi+ identity on dating apps

If you’re like me and always seem to be dating, you’ve probably rewritten your dating profile a few hundred times.

In the past, I’ve made the mistake of diluting my profile so I looked more palatable, tucking my queerness away. I thought I would get more matches and therefore have a more exciting dating life.

But all that did was let people into my sphere who were needing lots of queer education, being downright biphobic or assuming I exist on this planet to have threesomes. (I’m actually so ready for my first threesome! I just don’t like people always assuming I’m down for it because I’m bi!)

I’m currently having a dating break. But when I’m back, I’m putting my queerness front and centre. Fewer matches but more positive experiences is where it’s at. 

Self care as a bi+ person

So my final piece of advice sounds cheesy, but it works! 

I spent a big chunk of the COVID lockdowns firstly getting really depressed and anxious, and then developing agoraphobia. I couldn’t leave the house without crying and having a panic attack – eep!

Then I delved head-deep into an exploration of positive psychology – exploring happiness, self care and resilience research. And nothing has improved my mental health, wellbeing and bisexual pride more than working out how to really care for myself through evidence-based strategies. 

It would take me a long time to tell you everything I learnt. But some of the most helpful strategies have been: regular exercise, gratitude, meditation, increased social connection, acts of kindness and finding my signature strengths. 

I could talk about this stuff all day. I’m even developing workshops on these topics – yippee! – so stay tuned.

This brings me to the end of my bisexual pride top tips! If you only take away one thing from this article, it’s that being bi+ is fucking fantastic. 

Of course there are struggles. Throughout history we have been tucked away, denied entry, not allowed to march in pride parades and have experienced biphobia in and out of our community.

But how awesome is it that our romantic life is open to so many possibilities? 

We are writing our own unique scripts for what our lives, partnerships and sexy connections can look like. 

Some of us have dated a variety of gender identities, which has helped us develop a deeper and more nuanced understanding of other people’s experiences. This can often make us more empathetic, understanding, nurturing and therefore bloody great partners.

We also have really cute pride flag colours, and we know how to throw awesome parties.

I’ve never met a bi+ person that I didn’t vibe with.

So get out there, find your community and DM me if you ever want someone to remind you why it’s fucking fantastic to be queer!

Love & bi hugs,

delsi xx

delsi is a proud queer woman, qualified teacher and the Founding Director of Unicorns.

What started as a queer warehouse party, Unicorns now spans friendship and dating nights, inclusion workshops, queer fitness groups, eco-glitter stations, pride posters, peer support groups and even a festival.

delsi is also the creator of the queer youth podcast, Unicorn Youth, co-creator and teacher at Queer Social and has and previously worked across numerous LGBTQIA+ organisations such as: Minus18, Rainbow Network, Switchboard Victoria and Joy94.9.

delsi was a Finalist for the 2019 GLOBE LGBTI Person of the Year Award and named as one of the Top 50 LGBTI Leaders in Australia according to Google in 2021. 

Archer Magazine has partnered with Melbourne Bisexual Network to amplify voices from the bi+ community. This article is part of a series to celebrate Bisexual Awareness Week, supported by the Victorian Government. 

You can read the other articles in this series here.