Category Archive: sexuality

Metrosexuality: Effeminacy, aesthetics and toxic masculinity

“You faggot, may god damn you. Alas, life is nearing end.” I will never forget these exact words from a Facebook comment, written tauntingly on a picture of a person who looked neither masculine nor feminine. What upset me was not only the comment’s homophobic language, but the fact that the man who commented is …

Queerness in Venezuela: politics, colonialism and sexuality

Venezuela made global headlines this year, with protests between the citizenry and armed police claiming 163 lives in as many days. What’s missing from the entire analysis of these protests is the queer community, and how international voices from either side of the political spectrum undermine and erase Venezuela’s queer, indigenous history. The loudest voices …

Femme domination and the pleasures of wearing a strap on

I was sexually active for ten years before I donned a dick. It wasn’t that I was adversely opposed to doing so, and more that I was never given the opportunity to explore this aspect of my sexual identity. I spent the first five of those ten years engaging with cis men, all of whom …

Deconstructing binaries: Forever on the fence

  I grew up in a small rural pocket of south west Sydney. Our little acreage was made up of the back paddock, the front paddock, and our house. Divided neatly by fences, it was easy to tell where you fit in your surroundings, until you had to go beyond them. Step out our front …

Don’t let them erase the faces of homophobia: Tony Abbott and the good victim myth

After being head-butted by a self-proclaimed anarchist named ‘Astro Labe’ in Tasmania, who readily divorced his actions from the same-sex marriage debate, Tony Abbott smugly declared that “all the ugliness seems to come from one side.” Later that same day, swastikas were pasted onto train carriages and other hate speech was messily sprawled in black …

Pick a side, and other bisexual misunderstandings

I started identifying as bisexual at 18 because I realised those butterflies weren’t from me just really wanting to be friends with that girl in my class. Since I was in a monogamous heterosexual relationship at the time, and would be for another 2 years, it didn’t prompt much external change, other than a pronoun …

The Bachelor: Understanding the attraction of watching the reality show

I notice the terminology immediately. The contestants frequently refer to the other women as “girls”, which makes me cringe. It’s not just the contestants, but also this year’s Bachelor, Matty, and Host, Osher Günsberg. Journalists are guilty of using this word, too; in recaps for news.com.au, James Weir writes, “In a humiliating moment, one girl …

Queers against gay marriage: What to do in this postal vote?

I am a queer person vehemently opposed to gay marriage. Right now, this means I am navigating so many complexities. Do I vote? Do I boycott? Do I go to the marriage rally because it is about more than just marriage now? Do I try and speak out against the institution of marriage, even though …

Buddhism, diaspora and the challenge of faith in queer communities

Late last year, I attended a forum on queerness and faith. The event was supposed to be multi-faith, but five Christian chaplains came and no other faith groups were represented at all. Even when I talk about Buddhism, which is my own faith, Christianity is always the elephant in the room. As much as we …

Non-binary fantasy and the erotics of Daddy/son play

The first Daddy of my trip lives just outside of Miami. I have lunch at his home one sticky Floridian afternoon in the heart of Summer. He lives off the grid in a large commune. In the shade of a lychee tree, he prepares mango, coconut and guava for me from his impressive, self-sustained backyard. My …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.