Category Archive: sexuality

Buddhism, diaspora and the challenge of faith in queer communities

Late last year, I attended a forum on queerness and faith. The event was supposed to be multi-faith, but five Christian chaplains came and no other faith groups were represented at all. Even when I talk about Buddhism, which is my own faith, Christianity is always the elephant in the room. As much as we …

Non-binary fantasy and the erotics of Daddy/son play

The first Daddy of my trip lives just outside of Miami. I have lunch at his home one sticky Floridian afternoon in the heart of Summer. He lives off the grid in a large commune. In the shade of a lychee tree, he prepares mango, coconut and guava for me from his impressive, self-sustained backyard. My …

My disability helped me embrace my queerness: Re-evaluating masculinity through the gift of weakness

My whole life, I have relied on other people to help open jars for me – something conventional Western narratives of manhood, and most 90s sitcoms, would designate as a one-way ticket to Emasculation Station. A lot of guys have a problem with admitting they are physically weak, or worse still, deferring their jar-based tasks …

The socio-sexual landscape of scars

If you were to Google my story, you would find some lovely photographs exhibiting some “hideous” scars that make up 70-80% of my torso, front and back. I was told that I was lucky that the scars can be hidden by clothing and that my handsome face was left unmaligned. These battle scars are detritus …

The whiteness of ‘coming out’: culture and identity in the disclosure narrative

It’s been eight years since I first kissed a boy, and two since gender loosened its grip on me, yet I never came out to my father. I’ve made my peace with never coming out to him, or the rest of my extended family, for that matter. For someone straddling two cultures, this is a …

Bodywork: The erotic art of wellbeing, embodiment and somatic sexology

Pleasure moved from his genitals and expanded further throughout his body. He was surprised about the amount of sensation he was feeling erotically. He felt his body had been awoken. He had never experienced erotic sensations anywhere other than his genitals before and bodywork opened his mind up. Days later, he reports that, after masturbating, he …

Work and play: Discrimination in tradie and kink communities

I’ve known I was pansexual since I was sixteen. It was never an issue in my family. At eighteen, I got involved in the kink community and later got a job as a joiner, making hardwood windows and doors. Looking back, there was homophobia, sexism and discrimination ingrained in both tradie and kink cultures. In …

Extracting queerness from a narrative of suffering

I will confess that when I transitioned, I struggled to come to terms with my burgeoning privileges. Growing up as an awkward, gangly, heavyset girl in the 90s, I was aware of my place as ‘other’. At primary school I gravitated towards friends who were the odd-ones out. At high school the rift between myself …

Twink, bear, sub, Dom: How gay classification reinforces heteronormativity

On my first night out in St Kilda when I first moved to Melbourne, I downloaded Tinder and Grindr and self-advertised the hours away. While I built meaningful relationships through both apps, optimism slowly slipped away after cross-examination. A white cisgender gay man like myself does not have too much trouble fitting in with online …

On queer aesthetics and not feeling ‘queer enough’

I once dated a person with terrifying friends. They were loud and confrontational and—in my eyes—terrifying. Still, I was in love, so I made the effort to get to know them. They all hung out in one of those big, run-down share houses where anything goes. They threw massive parties fueled with drugs and sexual …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.