Category Archive: sexuality

Don’t let them erase the faces of homophobia: Tony Abbott and the good victim myth

After being head-butted by a self-proclaimed anarchist named ‘Astro Labe’ in Tasmania, who readily divorced his actions from the same-sex marriage debate, Tony Abbott smugly declared that “all the ugliness seems to come from one side.” Later that same day, swastikas were pasted onto train carriages and other hate speech was messily sprawled in black …

Pick a side, and other bisexual misunderstandings

I started identifying as bisexual at 18 because I realised those butterflies weren’t from me just really wanting to be friends with that girl in my class. Since I was in a monogamous heterosexual relationship at the time, and would be for another 2 years, it didn’t prompt much external change, other than a pronoun …

The Bachelor: Understanding the attraction of watching the reality show

I notice the terminology immediately. The contestants frequently refer to the other women as “girls”, which makes me cringe. It’s not just the contestants, but also this year’s Bachelor, Matty, and Host, Osher Günsberg. Journalists are guilty of using this word, too; in recaps for news.com.au, James Weir writes, “In a humiliating moment, one girl …

Queers against gay marriage: What to do in this postal vote?

I am a queer person vehemently opposed to gay marriage. Right now, this means I am navigating so many complexities. Do I vote? Do I boycott? Do I go to the marriage rally because it is about more than just marriage now? Do I try and speak out against the institution of marriage, even though …

Buddhism, diaspora and the challenge of faith in queer communities

Late last year, I attended a forum on queerness and faith. The event was supposed to be multi-faith, but five Christian chaplains came and no other faith groups were represented at all. Even when I talk about Buddhism, which is my own faith, Christianity is always the elephant in the room. As much as we …

Non-binary fantasy and the erotics of Daddy/son play

The first Daddy of my trip lives just outside of Miami. I have lunch at his home one sticky Floridian afternoon in the heart of Summer. He lives off the grid in a large commune. In the shade of a lychee tree, he prepares mango, coconut and guava for me from his impressive, self-sustained backyard. My …

My disability helped me embrace my queerness: Re-evaluating masculinity through the gift of weakness

My whole life, I have relied on other people to help open jars for me – something conventional Western narratives of manhood, and most 90s sitcoms, would designate as a one-way ticket to Emasculation Station. A lot of guys have a problem with admitting they are physically weak, or worse still, deferring their jar-based tasks …

The socio-sexual landscape of scars

If you were to Google my story, you would find some lovely photographs exhibiting some “hideous” scars that make up 70-80% of my torso, front and back. I was told that I was lucky that the scars can be hidden by clothing and that my handsome face was left unmaligned. These battle scars are detritus …

The whiteness of ‘coming out’: culture and identity in the disclosure narrative

It’s been eight years since I first kissed a boy, and two since gender loosened its grip on me, yet I never came out to my father. I’ve made my peace with never coming out to him, or the rest of my extended family, for that matter. For someone straddling two cultures, this is a …

Bodywork: The erotic art of wellbeing, embodiment and somatic sexology

Pleasure moved from his genitals and expanded further throughout his body. He was surprised about the amount of sensation he was feeling erotically. He felt his body had been awoken. He had never experienced erotic sensations anywhere other than his genitals before and bodywork opened his mind up. Days later, he reports that, after masturbating, he …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.