It was the day of my birthday, shortly after I had arrived in Melbourne. I’d come from rainy England, leaving my friends and family to start a new adventure with my partner.

Moving a long distance is tough, both logistically and emotionally. On this birthday, the thing I found the hardest was not having anyone to celebrate with. My partner did a great job of making the day special, but not being able to spend the day with the other loved ones was a challenge.

Subsequently, I vowed to myself that I would go out and meet friends as soon as possible. And long story short, I now have a wonderful group of friends who I can lean on for support!

I’ve been asked by a few others since moving here: How did I do it? What was the magical way I managed to make a new group of friends as an adult?

Unsurprisingly, it took a bit of trial-and-error – there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to making new LGBTQIA+ friends. But we all deserve to feel loved and appreciated, and so with that in mind, here are some ideas of how you can get out there and find your people.

Image by: VICE‘s Gender Spectrum Collection

LGBTQIA+ venues

Let’s start with something you’ve probably heard of: visiting queer-specific venues. It’s the tried-and-true method of meeting new people in the community, and there’s a reason for that. Ideally, queer spaces should be incredibly welcoming and friendly.

Check out the LGBTQI Directory for some of the main venues! As a now-Melburnian, I’d personally recommend UBQ if you’re keen for a slightly smaller venue with a stellar line-up of local performance artists.

Feeling nervous? Pull up a seat at a bar and chat to the bartender, you’ll find most are happy to talk. Or wait later into the night and you’ll most likely find a group of people willing to bring you into the fold.

Pro tip – If you’re like me and feel nervous about attending a bar on your own, look to see if they have a ‘theme’ night, activities or special events. You’ll find more solo people here and will have something in common with them already.

Meetup

Bars not really your thing? Meetup could be for you. It’s a great app where people post community-run events, both in-person and virtual.

In my first week in Australia, I went to the ‘Rainbow Social Melbourne‘, where an incredibly attentive host partnered me up with some other first timers.

Does it work? Well, I’m regularly meeting up with that same group of people several months on, so I would say so! Meetup is also handy if you have a particular interest in mind – like sports, crafts, book clubs, or even LARP!

You can find identity-specific groups, too – for example, meetups that cater to asexuality, neurodivergence, spirituality and more. There’s plenty of variety to meet your needs – whether you’re looking for a sober hang, a casual stroll, or big party vibes.

Pro tip – Most of the meetups have a social tab when you sign up for an event, which allows you to introduce yourself and maybe even make some connections before you go along.

Sports clubs

I know many of us have slightly traumatic memories of sports in high school. But fear not – queer-specific sport clubs are far more inclusive, and often cater to a range of abilities, from those just interested in casual fun, all the way up the die-hard sportsperson.

Pride in Sport is a great resource here. It helpfully splits all the LGBTQIA+ sports clubs by state, so you can find clubs for any interest. Maybe you’ll be like my partner, who – in the space of four weeks – has developed a keen interest, passion and ability for volleyball.

Pro tip – Most clubs offer a free trial session before you sign up, which is a fun way to try something new.

Work

Hear me out on this one. Navigating the hierarchical work structure can be a challenge, but you may find that it introduces you to other LGBTQIA+ folks in an easy way.

If you work for a large organisation, they may have an LGBTQIA+ engagement group. Even if they don’t, you’ll often find at least one or two queer people around your office. Strike up a conversation over coffee. Ask how they spend their free time for some ideas. They may even invite you along!

Pro tip – If you’re feeling particularly brave, and your workplace doesn’t already have an LGBTQIA+ group, suggest setting one up. Many workplaces nowadays are getting better at promoting diversity, and this could be just the ticket both parties are looking for.

Volunteering

Spending too much time with your work colleagues? Volunteering really does offer the best of both worlds – allowing you to meet other people and do something good in the community. Googling “queer volunteering opportunities [your city or location]” should yield some very helpful results.

Recently, I’ve started volunteering with Thorne Harbour Health (previously the Victorian AIDS Council) who do amazing work and run events almost every single day. Their reach is huge, and with large-scale charities, there are lots of opportunities to get involved.

Pro tip – While a great place to meet people, the focus of any volunteering should be on the cause you are supporting, so make sure it’s an organisation you’re passionate about!

LGBTQIA+ events

Still haven’t found something that tickles your fancy? Well, luckily for you, there is a swathe of other events available.

Have a look within your local community to see what’s on. You might find queer films, talks or just about anything – including Archer events (wink wink)!

Normally, when attending an event, you’ll find lots of other LGBTQIA+ people who have come solo, and are eager to start up a conversation.

Pro tip – Eventbrite has a whole section dedicated to LGBTQIA+ events. There are plenty of events to try, and many of them are free.

Online spaces

Lastly, for those of us who may be more introverted, time-poor, or living in rural areas, you can also find a plethora of communities online. There are some general ones that cover the whole of Australia, as well as more specific ones that focus on various topics.

For example, if you’re like me, and enjoy unwinding with a video game (I will gladly show anyone my prowess at Mario Kart), I recommend joining the Gay Geeks. It’s incredibly active, and an awesome resource to meet like-minded individuals. Sometimes these groups will host community events, or other fun activities to get people talking, so it’s well worth having a look.

Pro tip – If you’re between the ages of 18–24, the Trevor Project offers ‘TrevorSpace‘, a moderated chatroom run by one of the world’s most established LGBTQIA+ charities, and a safe space for your first foray into an online chat room!

So, there you have it! Hopefully this list has helped you feel more confident in meeting new LGBTQIA+ folks. Just remember: you will find your people! Queers are a lovely bunch, and there are always others in a similar boat.

So, take the leap – attend an event this week, and you might just meet your new best friend!