Stories about: relationships

Pomosexuality: Finding a term that fits

In early June, I was preparing myself for the rainbow marketing and pink washing that comes with the celebration of Pride Month each year.  During this month, brands and organisations often come up with new logos and various types of rainbow branding. They host talks, plan shows, and make a sudden effort to ensure conversations …

Sheilas documents the ultimate girl gang, exploring the culture and community within numerous all-female motorcycle clubs in Victoria, Australia. The series follows these clubs as they meet at festivals, take rides together, and gather for catchups and other general shenanigans. Taken over the course of several months, Sheilas candidly captures the reality of being a …

It’s Bisexual Visibility Day! Also known as Celebrate Bisexuality Day, today is a day to celebrate and acknowledge the wonderful bisexual+ folks in our LGBTQIA+ community. Image: adrirodrigar   It’s a day where we can celebrate our bi+ pals, consider how we can smash biphobia and enthusiastically wave that (aesthetically pleasing) bisexual flag. It’s also a …

My hairdresser says there’s a different kind of freedom from living out of home, and I finally understand what he means. Since moving out, I’ve recognised a part of my identity that’s come as a surprise for me. Even though I’ve been attending queer book events at the library, and have two copies of Guidebook …

Content note: This article includes mention of sexual assault.   “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” I heard this, ad nauseum, over and over after my relationship of nearly three years came to a crashing halt.  I’d never been through a separation before and was already sick of …

In 2019, I managed to get myself out of a situation that was onerous but not uncommon. It involved a man who I thought was the love of my life. I knew many individuals to exhibit the traits he displayed throughout our relationship. However, I was unaware of just how typical my experience was for …

Content warning: This article discusses sexual assault.   During my formative years, my self-esteem and social skills were damaged by pathetically inadequate sex education and the generationally perpetuated notion that teaches young girls that their worth is dependent on male attention and validation. I endured long-term trauma during high school, which induced complex mental health …

The first time I became cognisant of the importance others placed on romance was when I transitioned from the children’s section of my local library to the teen section. Suddenly, all of the books were about falling in or out of love. Nobody, it seemed, was all that concerned with friendships anymore. Until that point, …

It’s a familiar story: the casual coming out. A discussion over drinks with friends. The reactions from family when you tell them. Trying to explain to a potential partner that you have a label for how you experience sexual attraction, and how you identify as a result. But the coming out story for demisexuals tends …

It’s a universal truth that breakups, and being broken up with, suck. In this heteronormative world, we’re often told that you can’t be friends with your ex. But when queer friendships can quite literally be a lifeline, it’s hard to resist the urge to attempt to reconfigure and recontextualise relationships that were once exclusively sexual …

Some humiliations are delivered by people with good intentions. They warn you your fly is open or that the bottle of red wine you drank has turned your teeth grey. But, statistically, most humiliations are delivered for no good reason at all – and by my mother. “You completely lost yourself with that first boyfriend,” …

Viewed in the most literal way, the internet is dreadfully mundane. It is a series of interconnected networks comprising many computers and servers, all using standardised communication protocols to exchange information. What makes this web of cables and computers a technological spectacle is that it allows people to invent new worlds and reside in them. …

Heteronormativity and popular history

Caroline Newcomb lived and worked with Anne Drysdale on the Bellarine Peninsula for thirteen years, until the latter’s death. In her diary, Caroline described “my dearest and much-beloved Anne” as “the desire of mine eyes”. Upon her own death twenty years later, Caroline was buried beside Anne’s remains in their former residence of Coriyule. Historian …

‘Love in the Time of Coronavirus’ has been a source of entertainment and commentary during the pandemic. Playing on the title of Gabriel García Márquez’s novel, Love in the Time of Cholera, the hashtag has been attached to everything from questions about how to maintain healthy relationships during lockdown to stories about people ending up …

Most people don’t know exactly what their life will look like, or what they definitively want. We all have ideas about such things, but like burning incense, these ideas swirl and transform, twisting and augmenting over time. This can become more complicated amongst sexual minorities like myself. Sometimes other LGBT+ people find it problematic if …

I became single in the midst of a pandemic. Everything feels different, and not just because the process of uncoupling and change is unconventional in its slowness. I have felt a shift in the way I view all of my relationships, the ebbs and flows of connection and distance, valuing time I get with my …

In the morning light I went to my mirror and examined my ass. The heat radiating from it was enough to feel on my hand from centimetres away. Blackened rectangles puffed out against my pale backside. I pressed my index finger into my flesh and watched the colour change. My eyes shuttered close and I …

Relationship anarchy

I’ve long known that I view relationships differently when compared to most people. As a teenager, I regularly felt perplexed by the accepted practice of getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, entirely prioritising them, and moving friends to the sidelines. Why am I suddenly less important? I would wonder when close friends disappeared with their new …

Coming out as polyamorous, in my experience, has been similar to the 14 years I spent coming out as vegetarian: some people are quick to tell me they are too, or would like to be. Others get defensive, as if I’m somehow criticising their life choices (I’m not), or say it makes no difference to …

I was twenty-two when my best friend asked me to promise I’d never love my boyfriend more than I loved her. It wasn’t hard to promise. I’d met this boyfriend while Sarah and I were fighting. I wouldn’t have gone on a second date if we’d been speaking. I would have favoured Sarah’s critical observations …

Sugaring and mental health

I started sugaring for the money. Living out of home and watching your bank account decrease with every bill is a tiring experience, and after a gut-wrenching and generally nauseating break-up, I decided it was time to change that. Men my age were clearly incapable of giving me what I wanted, so I did what …

Identifying abuse or violence in relationships can be tricky for anyone, but LGBTIQA+ communities face a unique set of challenges when it comes to spotting healthy and abusive behaviours. We spoke to Karen Field, CEO of drummond street services and queerspace, and a partner in WithRespect, the first LGBTIQA+ specialist family violence service funded by …

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Sexuality - Gender - Identity