Content note: This article discusses misogyny. It mentions assault and crossing the boundaries of sex workers. 

Steph Crothers – queer comedian, voice actor, former stripper and former children’s entertainer – is a deft hand at making fantasies come true. After training in musical theatre, Steph used her unique skillset to earn a living hosting children’s parties by day and getting nude by night.

Now on the cusp of relaunching her one-woman show Daddy Daycare at Melbourne Fringe Festival, she talks to journalist Silvi Vann-Wall about how those two very different jobs led to a creative breakthrough – and a vital message about consent.

Image: Nick Robertson

Silvi Vann-Wall: Hey Steph! Good to see you. Let’s chat about your show. Where did the idea behind Daddy Daycare come from?

Steph Crothers: Hey, good to see you too! So, I worked as a children’s entertainer for about 10 years.

At the same time, as I was working at a strip club, and the show was really borne out of the similarities between children and grown men – for example, not being able to keep their hands to themselves.

The difference is that grown men are adults and do understand the concept of boundaries.

SVW: Yeah, you’d think so.

SC: You would think! Very similarly, in both of those jobs, you feel more like a plaything or object, rather than being seen as a person.

You’re dressed up in a costume, you’re putting on this persona, and you’re there to entertain. You want the customer to feel like they’re having the best time of their lives.

What really planted the seed for Daddy Daycare was this one interaction I had with a customer at the strip club. He looked at me and said, “You look really familiar, where do I know you from?”

I was just like, “I have no idea.” Then he said, “Oh! I know! You were the entertainer at my daughter’s birthday party!”

He booked me for the VIP room (where more touching is allowed) for two hours, and came back a couple of times after that. He ended up spending $3,000 on me.

SVW: Wow! Was that including the child’s birthday party?

SC: No! The birthday party was much cheaper than the VIP room.

Image: Ece Mustafoff

SVW: It’s interesting that you’ve taken this thing (men acting very poorly) that’s often frustrating, gross and traumatic, and turned it into an hour-long comedy show. Were you hoping it would enact a change in behaviour?

SC: Yeah, I have a lot of stories of boundary-crossing and assault that I’ve woven into the show.

Writing the show was very cathartic for me, and I was hoping it would shine a light on things – [especially] for people who haven’t seen that kind of behaviour, or don’t know that it’s still an issue. Or even for men who have exhibited this kind of behaviour.

But it’s meant to be fun and funny! It is very silly, just with a deeper meaning that becomes more apparent towards the end.

SVW: How did you decide to structure it like a children’s workshop?

SC: I always knew I wanted it to be like a workshop, with me dressed as a stereotypical slutty teacher.

The whole concept is that every “daddy” – everyone in the audience – has to pass the course to earn a certification: a card that essentially says, “I can be trusted alone with women”.

That concept didn’t actually come until quite close to the show opening, after I’d already set it up basically like a Play School episode. It’s got the windows, the toys, the rocket clock and the general structure of a Play School episode: with stories, songs and dress-ups. But it was missing this thing to tie it all together.

Then I was just at work one day, and the idea just popped into my head: instead of a Working With Children Check, I could do a Working With Women Check. And then the rest of the show just fell together.

SVW: You’ve been performing for a long time, but this is your first ever solo show. Do you think that your coming out as queer played a part in finally being ready to tackle Daddy Daycare?

SC: Yeah, I think it has. Realising I’m queer has really helped me express myself in the way that I’ve always wanted to.

Before I came out, I was always very concerned about being attractive to men, and looking feminine. The idea of not having to be attractive to men really ties into this show, because the whole thing is about being hyperfeminine to appeal to the male gaze in a satirical way.

I feel like I could only do that after this retrospection [around my queerness]. It was very freeing.

Image: Ece Mustafoff

SVW: That’s such a great idea to bring into the show. I heard that when you performed the show at Melbourne International Comedy Festival, some patrons weren’t totally on board with what you were doing. What happened?

SC: Yeah. I honestly didn’t anticipate it. [Before the show], I was ready to call out people who were being creepy and weird, but at the same time I really thought, Oh, that won’t happen. And then one night, I come out, and this guy just yells, “Nice arse!” I was in such shock.

When you do any kind of clowning like this, it’s best to call out bad behaviour in the audience. But this time I didn’t, and the rest of the show was so tense.

SVW: It’s not always your job to call out stuff like that!

SC: Yeah, true. It was so strange – whenever someone has crossed a boundary like that in the strip club, I’ve had no problem telling them to fuck off. But this felt different.

I had another night where during a scene where I take my top off, a guy leaned forward to take photos on his phone. I actually stopped the show and told him to put it away, and he ended up storming out angrily.

SVW: Fuck those guys! It’s so ridiculous that you have to think about preventing that behaviour in your audience.

SC: Yeah, it’s really ironic that they’re exemplifying exactly why I felt the need to make the show in the first place.

All they needed to do to earn their Working With Women’s Check was not harass me.

SVW: It should be so easy.

SC: It should be so easy!

SVW: What are you most looking forward to for your next run of Daddy Daycare at Melbourne Fringe? 

SC: I’ve made some changes to this run that I’m really excited about. There were some things in the original run that felt a little unfinished, and it’s been nice to have the time to tighten those things up.

I’ve been working on some elements to make me even more doll-like, including having a functional wind-up key commissioned.

I’ve been working with a couple of really good directors to work on my playfulness with the audience, and I’ve also changed the ending… but I won’t spoil it.

I love this show so much and it’s so much fun – so mostly I’m just excited to play with the audience every night!

Daddy Daycare is on at the Melbourne Fringe Festival from 5-11 October.

Find out more and grab your tickets here.