The last few years for Jess Holt, the Sydney-based artist better known as total tommy, have been the kind where everything turns on its head and you come out of the other side a near-unrecognisable person. Even when the change is for the better, at some point you have to take stock of the bruises you’ve accumulated and the ones you’ve left on others too.

Out of this comes total tommy’s debut album, a collection of scuzzy bedroom-rock anthems appropriately titled bruises. Written during a period in which she went through a breakup, moved cities, came out as queer and met her now-wife, it sees Holt’s bold, raw and witty voice on full display for the first time.

In this interview, I spoke to total tommy about queer identity in music, self-confidence and her upcoming album, bruises.

Header image: total tommy in the track visualiser for ‘REAL’

Alex Creece: Hey total tommy! I’ve been loving your music lately, playing it on repeat. Your debut record, bruises, is coming out on 29 November – so keen! What can we expect from the sound, storytelling and overall vibe of the album?

total tommy: Hi! Oh, that’s super kind! bruises is a collection of songs I wrote over a two-year period, where I was in a heavily processing a big time in my life. I’d come out as queer, ended a long-term relationship, moved cities and started to get to know myself better.

It was a wild time, a party time, and a big self-reflection time. I started listening to a lot more rock music because it made me feel something, so I really lent into that vibe when writing this record – gritty, grungy and grimy.

AC: How has your queer identity shaped the creation of this album, and your music career in general?

tt: Coming out as queer filled me with so much self-confidence because, for the first time in my life, I started to make sense to myself.

I no longer had this ‘shadow side’ where I was filled with uncertainty, and so I started trusting my gut a lot more. This assuredness comes out in the tracks on bruises, because I’m finally making the music I want to make.

Image by: Andrea Veltom.

AC: How did your music career begin? What prompted total tommy to come into existence?

tt: I’ve been writing music for a little while now, and had a previous project which was a little more pop-sounding. I took a break from releasing music and started experimenting more with my voice and writing more on guitar.

Everything I wrote started getting heavier, and I was writing from a way more truthful place. I always had a live context in mind with everything, and imagined myself performing the songs in front of crowds when I was in the studio. It’s been the best to now get to do that, and show these songs to audiences!

AC: I love that you bring a nostalgic, underground, DIY flair to your music and aesthetic. I’ve seen the word “scuzzy” describe bruises, which is a high compliment – and a great word! Who and/or what were your inspirations behind these artistic choices?

tt: Oh yeah, “scuzzy” really is a good word! My inspirations change quite often, but at the time of writing the record, I was listening to a lot of Hole, Garbage, Fontaines D.C., The Strokes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Wolf Alice.

We played with running my vocals through amps, and trying a bunch of stuff to get some tasty guitar sounds. Everything came to life when a friend came into the studio and recorded drums for some of the songs on the record.

Image by: Andrea Veltom.

AC: I peeped your Instagram and noticed that you’re married to another rad muso, HANDSOME. Do y’all work together on your musical endeavours, or do you have any future plans for a collab?

tt: Aw! Yes! CP (aka HANDSOME) is so closely connected to my project.

She’s my bass player, music director and we also wrote a few of the songs on the record together: ‘ADELINE’, ‘SODA’, ‘ribs’ and ‘Plus One’. She challenges me in the best way with lyrics and production, and I trust her taste so much.

AC: Lastly, do you have any advice for aspiring/emerging queer musicians?

tt: Write every day if you can! The more songs you write, the more you will understand yourself as an artist.

Once you start releasing music, it moves really fast, so having everything ready to go (as much as you can) is super helpful – songs, content, live shows, etc. And don’t compare yourself to others, even though that can be hard!

The path is not linear, and no two artists get where they are with the same steps. Say yes to what feels good, and no to anything that doesn’t.

Buy or stream bruises from 29 November at [PIAS].