Category Archive: bodies

Femme domination and the pleasures of wearing a strap on

I was sexually active for ten years before I donned a dick. It wasn’t that I was adversely opposed to doing so, and more that I was never given the opportunity to explore this aspect of my sexual identity. I spent the first five of those ten years engaging with cis men, all of whom …

Fatness is not bravery: On queer affirmation and fuckability

I never dated in high school and I didn’t at University, either. I was unhappy with my weight, awkward, painfully shy and self-sabotaging, which is something I’ve always wanted to address. I’d never realised that sexuality is a spectrum and that you could identify as anything but straight or gay. Is it any wonder I …

My disability helped me embrace my queerness: Re-evaluating masculinity through the gift of weakness

My whole life, I have relied on other people to help open jars for me – something conventional Western narratives of manhood, and most 90s sitcoms, would designate as a one-way ticket to Emasculation Station. A lot of guys have a problem with admitting they are physically weak, or worse still, deferring their jar-based tasks …

The socio-sexual landscape of scars

If you were to Google my story, you would find some lovely photographs exhibiting some “hideous” scars that make up 70-80% of my torso, front and back. I was told that I was lucky that the scars can be hidden by clothing and that my handsome face was left unmaligned. These battle scars are detritus …

Teaching while androgynous: Broaching gender with kids vs. adults

As an androgynous-looking person, I’m misgendered every single day of my life. Bathrooms, pubs, on the bus, at airport security — you name it, I’ve been misgendered there. Tall, masculine girl or well-dressed teenage boy? No one knows, but they sure want to find out. Perhaps I make things harder for myself by working as …

The medicalisation of gender fluidity: Forget me not

I had my first instance of gender confusion when I was around eight years old. I was skiing with my family in a little snow-capped town called Ohau in New Zealand. Having just got dressed, I passed the mirror on the way out and I was startled by my own reflection. I suddenly realised that …

Painful love: Sex, disability and vaginismus

I lost my virginity at the age of twenty-eight. I hadn’t planned on waiting that long, but I did always plan on waiting till the right man came along. It just took longer than expected. I was glad I waited, because it was everything I had expected. Four years down the line and we are …

Sex and fluids: Navigating bodily secretions

Doesn’t everyone remember their first time? Good, bad or ugly, we are socialised to remember it, and expected to. I can’t remember my first time, but I do remember the feeling: the stickiness that told me it wasn’t her cum. The grainy feeling under my nails that wasn’t her wetness. The colour crimson, bright, bold …

Image Essay: ‘For the Love of Hair’ by Leila Koren

I have been thinking a lot lately about my own body hair, hair in general, and how media censorship is particularly harsh on pubic hair.   Canadian artist and writer Petra Collins had her Instagram account deleted over an image of pubic hair. She responded with a great article on censorship and the female body …

Boxing for bravery: Risk, transitioning and a warrior’s spirit

I became truly fearless the day I returned to the old school, no frills, male-dominated boxing gym that I had attended for years as a female. My friend had outed me to a huge, burley macho guy. But I stood strong before him without showing any fear while awaiting his reaction, even though I was terrified …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.