Category Archive: sex

Pure OCD and the Groinal Syndrome: Body beyond control

Human bodies are trouble. They’re frightening and chaotic and often riddled with insurmountable paradox. All at once they are us – the site of our sensations, experiences, identities – not us – governed by unconscious, primordial systems, sometimes fiercely at odds with our desires and internal self-concepts – and perhaps most frighteningly, ours – like …

Intersex visibility: Being looked at versus being seen

I’m standing in the middle of my aunt’s living room in my underwear. My belly, breasts and limbs are covered in course black hair, echoing the dark stubble along my jaw. My secret revealed. I’m 13 years old. My mother is holding my arm with one hand and pointing at me with the other. “Do …

Queer nightlife: The urge to congregate

This article was first performed under the title ‘Unity’ at Queerstories for Newcastle Writer’s Festival.   That space between leaving high school and starting the next thing is bizarre. Whether that be uni, work or just, you know, taking up residency on a couch with a bong in one hand and a pipe dream in …

Kink tales: When my best friend became my Sub

I’m concealing a crop underneath my clothing. It peeks out of my skirt as I move into the car, pressing painfully into the flesh of my thigh. “Where are you folks off to tonight?” “Just a club,” we both mutter, looking anywhere but at each other. The driver nods and says no more. He doesn’t …

#MeToo in India: Why “Western” movements struggle

Content warning: this article discusses sexual assault and trauma.    I distinctly remember my first time. I was in middle school. I was standing in front of a shop to buy some snacks and my body froze as I came to the realisation that someone’s hand was feeling up my privates. Years later, when I …

Sex in New York City: It’s All About Aly (Part 2)

This is the second part of our new memoir series by Finnegan Shepard. “It’s All About Aly” details a time in Shepard’s life in which he lived in a tiny studio apartment in New York City with a cis man and shared a kind of merged identity with him. Part one can be read here. This …

Parenting and sexuality: The time my son found my FetLife profile

Parenting is the ultimate headfuck.  Nothing strips you as bare, nor finds you as wanting. You want to get it so right, and yet you are so goddamned imperfect. From the moment my son was conceived, I knew I wanted to raise him with a healthy sexuality that he could one day enjoy, as I …

OCD and sex: When ‘pure O’ isn’t so pure

It was a Thursday and I was at work, sitting at my desk in a second-floor open-plan office with no windows. I walked over to the printer, swiped my staff card and waited while the pages of my report assembled themselves into a neat pile. Then it happened again, more powerful than before. Images flashed …

Vaginismus and break-ups: Owning my sexuality

You hardly need to be told that break-ups are awful. Even if you haven’t experienced one yourself, you’ve likely witnessed the ordeal of a friend or, at the very least, heard songs, seen films or read books that dwell at length on the topic. I recently experienced my first break-up. To add insult to injury, …

Threesomes: Loving being a unicorn

When she first asked me if I’d be interested in playing with her and her heterosexual cis-male partner, I wasn’t looking for a three-way. I wanted to explore sex with femme-presenting women. I saw couples who looked for thirds the way many others do, as shady and only interested in their own gains – as …

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Sexuality - Gender - Identity