Category Archive: relationships

Smug. That is how I felt in my marriage. I was almost 36 when Paul and I met randomly at a bar in Brisbane. I figured that I must have applied the right amount of patience and discernment, because the alchemy of my relationship with Paul had resulted in a near perfect mix of respect, …

A love letter to stripping

A love letter to stripping

I’ve only been in Japan two weeks and I miss you so much already. I’m not saying I didn’t think I’d miss you, but I definitely didn’t think I’d miss you this much, this quickly. The girls called me from the dressing room at the club last night, and I was so jealous. They were …

Chivalry: How modern men inherit medieval misogyny

I remember the first time I heard the word chivalry. It was said at a family friend’s barbeque, a smoky haze of miscellaneous meats filled the garden and a balding, sunburnt man was clearly mourning its application in modern-day society. He spoke of a time, “back in his day”, when men knew how to look after women. I presume now—given his age—that this must have …

Ghosts of friendships past: On divesting from privilege

A straight person I was once very close with contacted me recently, telling me how fondly he remembers our past and that he missed me. It drew a smile to my face and got me thinking about the friendships with straight and/or white people that have faded from my life. These people have occasionally appeared …

Queers and #metoo: discussing sexual assault in queer spaces

Content warning: this article contains discussion of sexual assault, queerphobia and transphobia, and violence Living in this world as a queer person can be exhausting at times. The incessant and ever-present narratives of heteronormativity are everywhere. On billboards, movies, and even on fucking packets of chips. While this is frustrating, we usually build queer spaces …

Fanfiction: Coding homosexuality as a teenager

When I was about 15, I was up to my neck in the fanfiction community. I had read the epics, masturbated to the smutty ones, and even dabbled in penning my own teen angst romance creations about the Canadian cartoon, Total Drama Island. They’re still online, but I’ll take my username to the grave. I …

Sugar babies: The delicate power balance

I grew up in an Asian household where sex was a topic that was never discussed. My mum is a single mother who brought me and my brother up as Japanese: we spoke the language at home, followed its cultural traditions, nuances and manners. The topic was taboo to the point where my mum had …

Archer Asks: Musician and performer, William Hannagan-Mckinna

In light of his self-released record, Small Cruelties, Melbourne based musician William Hannagan-Mckinna spoke to Archer about the inner-city-queer-millennial-experience, the breakup that instigated the record and his one true love, the club. Your sound epitomises ‘90s house meets queer disco’ and the lyrics deal with many funny and relatable queer-relationship tropes, that feel so relevant. …

Raising a rainbow family: slowly becoming visible

“Sisters?” asks the dishevelled guy in the sweltering hot elevator. My girlfriend has gold flecked blue eyes, straight blonde hair and a small round tummy—she’s five months pregnant. I’m half a foot taller with wavy auburn hair, deep set eyes and a larger frame. We’re both sweating as we look at each other, then at …

Asexuality and the politics of memory, abuse and consent

I had sex for the first time when I was sixteen. My boyfriend and I had a hotel for the weekend. The first night he set up candles and turned down the lights. It was respectably romantic. I faked a headache. At this point we had been dating for nearly a year and I had …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.