Category Archive: relationships

Sex on the spectrum: Neurodivergence, misogyny and Autism Spectrum Disorder

I didn’t kiss anyone, sexually, until I was twenty. I’m not trying to say this is woefully late in life. Missing the boat on teen sex is not tragic. At twenty, my first kiss was a hit-and-run encounter. We had limited time. We were hidden under a tree with the usual adrenalines of immature love, …

Pick a side, and other bisexual misunderstandings

I started identifying as bisexual at 18 because I realised those butterflies weren’t from me just really wanting to be friends with that girl in my class. Since I was in a monogamous heterosexual relationship at the time, and would be for another 2 years, it didn’t prompt much external change, other than a pronoun …

Archer Asks: Samantha X, author and sex worker

Samantha X is a British-born, Australian-based, journalist-turned-escort-turned-writer who now also manages her own escort service, Samantha X Angels. When not juggling her own business and client-base, Samantha is frequently sought by the media  for her pundit insight into the much maligned and misunderstood sex worker trade.  SE: What makes a good client? SX: What makes a good client is reliability, seemingly a …

An affirmation: The enduring power of queer love, with or without marriage

Of course we want to win. Some of us are married, want to get married or care about marriage. Some don’t care about marriage, but we all care about dignity. (It would just be nice for hatred to lose.) As a result of this collective desire to win it can seem like everything is at …

Queers against gay marriage: What to do in this postal vote?

I am a queer person vehemently opposed to gay marriage. Right now, this means I am navigating so many complexities. Do I vote? Do I boycott? Do I go to the marriage rally because it is about more than just marriage now? Do I try and speak out against the institution of marriage, even though …

Marriage equality: Postal vote campaign fatigue and debating the inevitable

Late last week, my partner and I were celebrating our anniversary. I like having an excuse to dress up and feel fancy, and – if we want to risk it – leave our Newtown bubble to see what else Sydney has to offer. We did venture out of the bubble, with minimal fanfare or occasion. …

Face to face with my queer hero, Carlos Celdran

“Cruel mothers are still mothers… are humans. Who sometimes give birth to their pain. Instead of children.” Nayyirah Waheed wrote these verses in a poem titled hate, and I wonder if that is what being Filipino means to me. I grew up in a three-bedroom house in an upper-middle-class suburb, with a Brother I was …

Sexual intimacy after sexual assault

Content warning: This article discusses sexual violence and assault.   In 2014, I was repeatedly sexually assaulted by a male friend, Alan* over a four month period. At the time, I had been with my partner, Sam* for four years, but I was afraid to confide in him about what was going on. Predominantly, I …

Celebrating queer friendships: Ditch the internet strangers and date your mates

On a cold Melbourne night, wrapped in my discounted woollen coat, I make pre-kiss conversation with a cute boy. We’re on a wooden bench on Gertrude Street, the commission flats rising behind us, trams ambling past and our eyes running away from one another as we play the first date version of cat-and-mouse. The eventual …

Non-hierarchical polyamory: Stepping off the relationship escalator

In June 2015, when same sex marriage was made legal in all US states, it was a turning point in the international fight for rights and recognition of queer relationships – indeed, my fiancee and I found our fervour for such structure doubled in the hope that it was closer than ever to being possible …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.