Category Archive: relationships

A woman in the bear community

If you’d told me at age 19, walking into my very first bear party at Sydney’s  Imperial Hotel basement that one day I’d be called the Queen of the Sydney bear community, I probably would’ve laughed at you. I didn’t want to go there that night, I’d had a terrible week. I was looking for …

Archer Asks: André Aciman, author of Call me by your Name

André Aciman is the critically acclaimed author of Call Me By Your Name and the sprawling Enigma Variations. Ava A spoke with André at the Sydney Writer’s Festival about the thematic elements he uses to produce his powerful prose and the novel-turned-movie that tugged the world’s heart strings. Ava: Can you speak to the significance of exploring queer, …

Aboriginal families: Beyond flesh and blood

The black family is a contested and colonised concept; my own family has never been a fixed and permanent entity. We have always been ephemeral. Some people are added and some are cut out. I have one mum, but heaps of other mothers. Sometimes, my mum feels like a sister. I have two sisters, but many …

Twink masculinity: The destabilising nature of stereotypes

For a long time, I’ve struggled with aspects of my masculinity that I’ve always deemed to be outside of my control. I’m short, baby faced, lean and my voice is slightly high. I got stopped the other day from entering a raffle at a market because the woman running it didn’t believe that I was …

Smug. That is how I felt in my marriage. I was almost 36 when Paul and I met randomly at a bar in Brisbane. I figured that I must have applied the right amount of patience and discernment, because the alchemy of my relationship with Paul had resulted in a near perfect mix of respect, …

A love letter to stripping

A love letter to stripping

I’ve only been in Japan two weeks and I miss you so much already. I’m not saying I didn’t think I’d miss you, but I definitely didn’t think I’d miss you this much, this quickly. The girls called me from the dressing room at the club last night, and I was so jealous. They were …

Chivalry: How modern men inherit medieval misogyny

I remember the first time I heard the word chivalry. It was said at a family friend’s barbeque, a smoky haze of miscellaneous meats filled the garden and a balding, sunburnt man was clearly mourning its application in modern-day society. He spoke of a time, “back in his day”, when men knew how to look after women. I presume now—given his age—that this must have …

Ghosts of friendships past: On divesting from privilege

A straight person I was once very close with contacted me recently, telling me how fondly he remembers our past and that he missed me. It drew a smile to my face and got me thinking about the friendships with straight and/or white people that have faded from my life. These people have occasionally appeared …

Queers and #metoo: discussing sexual assault in queer spaces

Content warning: this article contains discussion of sexual assault, queerphobia and transphobia, and violence Living in this world as a queer person can be exhausting at times. The incessant and ever-present narratives of heteronormativity are everywhere. On billboards, movies, and even on fucking packets of chips. While this is frustrating, we usually build queer spaces …

Fanfiction: Coding homosexuality as a teenager

When I was about 15, I was up to my neck in the fanfiction community. I had read the epics, masturbated to the smutty ones, and even dabbled in penning my own teen angst romance creations about the Canadian cartoon, Total Drama Island. They’re still online, but I’ll take my username to the grave. I …

1 2 3 4 8
The Australian journal of sexual diversity.