Category Archive: relationships

Metrosexuality: Effeminacy, aesthetics and toxic masculinity

“You faggot, may god damn you. Alas, life is nearing end.” I will never forget these exact words from a Facebook comment, written tauntingly on a picture of a person who looked neither masculine nor feminine. What upset me was not only the comment’s homophobic language, but the fact that the man who commented is …

Yes and no: Priorities of queer resistance and the gay agenda

On the morning the yes results were released, my friends and I were running late to the State Library because we had to drop my boyfriends kids at school, get coffee and have some time to sing to Tracy Chapman. We were stressed and fielding everyone else’s anxious texts and trying to figure out if …

Protest, marriage equality and the future of activism

I am on the train, making my way to the marriage equality rally at the State Library. Scrolling through Facebook, I see that Premier Daniel Andrews has posted in support of the march. Foolishly, I begin to read the comments. ‘Let’s hope when they get it they will get out of our faces for good,’ …

Asexual and aromantic: Redefining the normalcy of sex and desire

My parents didn’t let me start dating until I was in university. Terrified of disappointing them, I waited until I was eighteen and in my first year of undergrad. Up until that point, the gender of a person didn’t sway my attraction to them, so I assumed I was attracted to all genders. I hadn’t …

Femme domination and the pleasures of wearing a strap on

I was sexually active for ten years before I donned a dick. It wasn’t that I was adversely opposed to doing so, and more that I was never given the opportunity to explore this aspect of my sexual identity. I spent the first five of those ten years engaging with cis men, all of whom …

Losing your father, finding yourself: David H’s story

  This story was first published on Staying Negative, a website that aims to emotionally engage and inspire gay/bisexual men, including trans men, through the sharing of personal stories. Read more about how you can share your story here. I grew up in Auckland, which is the biggest city in New Zealand. A week ago it …

Sex on the spectrum: Neurodivergence, misogyny and Autism Spectrum Disorder

I didn’t kiss anyone, sexually, until I was twenty. I’m not trying to say this is woefully late in life. Missing the boat on teen sex is not tragic. At twenty, my first kiss was a hit-and-run encounter. We had limited time. We were hidden under a tree with the usual adrenalines of immature love, …

Pick a side, and other bisexual misunderstandings

I started identifying as bisexual at 18 because I realised those butterflies weren’t from me just really wanting to be friends with that girl in my class. Since I was in a monogamous heterosexual relationship at the time, and would be for another 2 years, it didn’t prompt much external change, other than a pronoun …

Archer Asks: Samantha X, author and sex worker

Samantha X is a British-born, Australian-based, journalist-turned-escort-turned-writer who now also manages her own escort service, Samantha X Angels. When not juggling her own business and client-base, Samantha is frequently sought by the media  for her pundit insight into the much maligned and misunderstood sex worker trade.  SE: What makes a good client? SX: What makes a good client is reliability, seemingly a …

An affirmation: The enduring power of queer love, with or without marriage

Of course we want to win. Some of us are married, want to get married or care about marriage. Some don’t care about marriage, but we all care about dignity. (It would just be nice for hatred to lose.) As a result of this collective desire to win it can seem like everything is at …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.