I am going to review The Ultimatum: Queer Love season 2. I must confess: I tried season one, and I lasted about half an episode before the extremely problematic behaviour was too much to bear.

What a wild ride. Thanks for coming along for the journey with me. They better renew The Ultimatum: Queer Love or I’m rioting. I love gay people.

Welcome to the recap of The Ultimatum: Queer Love episodes 5-8, where we learn that love is a lie, Lexi has a hot mum, the stereotype of lesbians saying “I love you” after 2.5 weeks exists for a reason, and some people don’t shoo their dog off the bed before having sex. 

Four episodes drop at a time. I watched them all three glasses of boxed white wine deep, fresh from a devastating gay breakup and days after Taylor Swift surprise-dropped her saddest breakup song yet. Is this a good idea?