Welcome back to Archer’s queer advice series: Phone-a-Dyke.

Think of this as your very queer Agony Aunt column mixed with Dolly Doctor, but minus the questionable advice that’ll definitely give you a UTI.

Check out all episodes of Phone-a-Dyke here.

Got a question for the dykes to discuss? Submit it here.

Image: Europeana

Today’s Q:

Dear dykes,

Some days I’m a dyke, deep in my Kristen Stewart soul. I’m also transmasc, deep beneath my Elliot Page-but-not-so-ripped abs. I oscillate between the two, and sometimes, somehow, I’m both at once.

I don’t know if it’s okay to hang out in dyke-centred spaces and situations. Will people feel uncomfortable on the days that my fit and my mood is spilling out transmasc energy?

– Dykeboy

A:

Hello Dykeboy!

This is a great question – so great that to answer it, we’ve assembled a supergroup of dyke-specific event organisers and community legends.

A question about who can and can’t enter a space can easily get bogged down with Discourse™, which can quickly slide into the transphobic (boooooo). So, we figured a tasting platter of wise, dykey voices of various different ages, experiences and identities would give you the best answer to this very valid question.

We’ll be addressing here transmascs in dyke spaces. A dyke space without non-binary people and transfemmes is already a washed-up garbage loser zone. And – in short – as for the transmascs? Please, come to us! You are welcome, and brilliant. You are necessary. In other words… take it away, dykes:

Are transmasc folks welcome in dyke-centred spaces? Hell yes.

Transmascs know how to please a dyke. You think chivalry is dead? Spend a day with a transmasc. Doors opened, jars loosened, jackets draped over your shoulders – and new realms of pleasure revealed.

Transmascs, you know dykes adore you, right? We won’t just welcome you, we’ll protect you.

Dykes love an underdog. Give us your marginalised, and we’ll embrace them. Give us your flexing biceps, and we’ll swoon. Nothing is hotter than a proud display of transness, or top surgery scars.

Nohing is more feminist than a transmasc who honours their deepest desire to transition, despite all the social conditioning that tells us to deny ourselves.

The world needs that new breed of masculinity.

– One of Australia’s original disruptors of TERFs (aka Anonymous Dyke #7)

Yes, please, transmascs come to these events! Gender policing is so 2000-and-late.

I run a big, regular queer event. It’s not officially sapphic or dyke-specific, but it does centre and celebrate sapphic culture a lot, because I wanted a queer event where all queer people are welcome – and there are already a lot of queer or gay spaces that centre cis gay men. I basically wanted to celebrate other identities to balance the event landscape out.

It’s important for me to define what ‘sapphic’ means because I think there’s a lot of misconception; I use the definition from Them which is basically all non-cis men who are attracted to non-cis men.

Transmascs are absolutely welcome and celebrated at my events. We write in the description: “There will be no gender policing at this event.”

I outline that the event is a safe space for all queers, especially for marginalised folks – like trans people – who are dangerously targeted by bigots. We have a zero tolerance policy toward bigotry, and tell our punters that if they’re uncomfortable showing allyship to the underrepresented and less privileged members of the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s not the space for them. 

– CheersForAllQueers (aka Anonymous Dyke #8)

The Dyke bar has long been a place of congregation for Queers of all genders and the friends they choose to bring along.

Dykes have historically been guardians and protectors of the LGBTQIA+ community, making the Dyke bar a safe hub.

Dyke culture has evolved and now doesn’t just belong to women. In my three decades worth of experience on the scene, there are plenty of non-binary people, genderfluid folks and trans men who connect with the culture and identify as Dykes; and there are many that possibly would as well, if were made to feel more comfortable within the community.

The only places that exclude people in our community are events for and by cis gay men, and events run by TERFs/transphobes and those that aren’t intersectional.

We have had cis and trans men ask if it’s okay if they attend our events and the answer is the same. Yes, absolutely – as long as you can respect the vibe. Our spaces run on the principles of Queer politics.

Basically, don’t be a dickhead – that goes for every person in the space, no exceptions.

– Mx. Dyke (aka Anonymous Dyke #9)

There you have it, Dykeboy. You absolutely deserve to feel welcome in all queer spaces.

Our advice is to scope out the event a little online first, and make sure it’s not TERFy. If any place labels itself as a dyke event but doesn’t want the transmascs, it sounds boring and certainly not the space for us anyway.

May your Kristen-Stewart-Elliot-Page-oscillating self find dyke magic wherever you go.

– Anonymous Dykes #6, #7, #8, and #9

Please note: Some instances of Queer and Dyke have been capitalised for political reasons, at the contributor’s request. 

Phone-a-Dyke is Archer’s queer advice column. Got a question you want answered? Submit it here.