Articles

Opening up a relationship: Compersion, insecurity and ethical non-monogamy

Sunday morning and I’m sitting at the table in the Melbourne house I bought with Mojo, my partner of seven years. Our two cats groom each other in the sunlight. A Subaru is parked in the driveway. We tick all the boxes of middle-class lesbian cliché, although I’m a stripper and she’s a musician, so …

Boi wonder: Hinduism, transness and masculine anger

My very first images of masculinity and femininity came from the pictures that hung in my family’s prayer area, inside a small hallway closet with doors that opened like an accordion. Inside I saw gods and goddesses, either balanced on one leg in a dance pose, or standing with their palms together in prayer. At six …

A transgender man in the barbershop: Passing, masculinity, and aftershave

I had not walked into the barbershop for three months, but the barber remembered my face. He is a Turkish guy in his late sixties. His strength and agility dance in his hands. He is a quiet man with a wide smile that appears every so often. His grin is like a slice of light, …

Mixed race and bi: Carving the self into liminal space

Long before I even realised I was attracted to women, I had been well versed in straddling two different worlds. My mixed identity stretches across the globe and the sexuality spectrum, which has afforded me a sense of fluidity when it comes to adapting to the different circles I operate in. For a while, I …

Queer linguistics and shared understanding, or why I usually say I’m bisexual

For most people in the LGBTQIA+ community, finding the right words to describe our sexualities and identities can be a difficult process. In my own experience, more than one word fits. My identity is multidimensional, and different words reflect different aspects of that identity. While this may seem like my identity itself shifting, it isn’t. …

PrEP revolution: Shame, class and bareback sex

I keep interrupting him to ask if the condom is still on. He pauses for a second. “Yeah dude, I’ll let you know if it comes off.” We started speaking on Grindr two hours ago and now I’m in his apartment in Carlton North, long hairy legs sprawled open around his neck. Something about the …

Bullying and coming out: Jay’s story

This story was first published on Staying Negative, a website that aims to emotionally engage and inspire gay/bisexual men, including trans men, through the sharing of personal stories. Read more about how you can share your story here.   I was born in Castlemaine, Victoria, but when I was about six months old, my mum left my …

The most-read stories of 2017: Coming out, calling out, and getting married

This year was an incredibly tough one for so many of us. Here in Australia, unprecedented levels of homophobia and transphobia, brought on by an unprecedented postal survey, made this year much more difficult than perhaps it should’ve been. Many of us will be celebrating as we move into 2018, including those of us who …

Misgendering cisgender: androgyny and the defaulting of masculinity

When I realised the man in the bed next to mine thought I was a cisgender man, I thought it might be safer to play along, in case his reaction to the truth wasn’t positive. Worst case scenario, he could turn violent or aggressive. Even though he showed me no aggression whatsoever, I was instantly …

Metrosexuality: Effeminacy, aesthetics and toxic masculinity

“You faggot, may god damn you. Alas, life is nearing end.” I will never forget these exact words from a Facebook comment, written tauntingly on a picture of a person who looked neither masculine nor feminine. What upset me was not only the comment’s homophobic language, but the fact that the man who commented is …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.