Articles

Painful love: Sex, disability and vaginismus

I lost my virginity at the age of twenty-eight. I hadn’t planned on waiting that long, but I did always plan on waiting till the right man came along. It just took longer than expected. I was glad I waited, because it was everything I had expected. Four years down the line and we are …

Whose side?: Sexual violence in queer communities

Content warning: This article discusses sexual violence and assault, as well as suicidal ideation and eating disorders. We have a problem in our communities, and you need to do something. Most of the sexual assault and violence I have faced as an adult is from queers. And it has mostly been met with disbelief or …

Astrology and the importance of queer spirituality

Like queerness, astrology has always been written into and out of history, depending on who’s documenting it. Both have been denied existence, succumb to institutional fear and persecution, and have had glorious times of celebration and reverence. The juxtaposition of living in queer bodies under the heteropatriarchy is that we are continually forced to locate …

Oral sex and the pleasures of eating out

Growing up in the Church in Queensland in the 80s, no one ever mentioned oral sex. It was always penis in vagina. Pastors only wanted to discuss intercourse in their fire and brimstone sermons. But when I think about my own carnal life, the deep, wet truth of oral sex is what stands out. My …

Sex and fluids: Navigating bodily secretions

Doesn’t everyone remember their first time? Good, bad or ugly, we are socialised to remember it, and expected to. I can’t remember my first time, but I do remember the feeling: the stickiness that told me it wasn’t her cum. The grainy feeling under my nails that wasn’t her wetness. The colour crimson, bright, bold …

Twink, bear, sub, Dom: How gay classification reinforces heteronormativity

On my first night out in St Kilda when I first moved to Melbourne, I downloaded Tinder and Grindr and self-advertised the hours away. While I built meaningful relationships through both apps, optimism slowly slipped away after cross-examination. A white cisgender gay man like myself does not have too much trouble fitting in with online …

Aesthetic attraction and being on the asexual spectrum

I think Jason Momoa is one of the most attractive people on the planet. ​ I don’t want to have sex with Jason Momoa. This used to confuse my friends. If you talk to me about attractive people, one of the first people I’m likely to bring up is Jason Momoa. You know, Khal Drogo …

Ableism in queer communities

I have been living with an acquired brain injury since 2013. Since then, I have often encountered ignorant and callous attitudes toward disabled people among queer folk who align themselves with intersectional feminism. Many other disabled people I know have had similar experiences with ableism. One friend of mine, Jesse, eloquently described what a lot …

On queer aesthetics and not feeling ‘queer enough’

I once dated a person with terrifying friends. They were loud and confrontational and—in my eyes—terrifying. Still, I was in love, so I made the effort to get to know them. They all hung out in one of those big, run-down share houses where anything goes. They threw massive parties fueled with drugs and sexual …

“The only Asian deaf gay guy in Melbourne”: Alvin’s story

This story was first published on Staying Negative, a website that aims to emotionally engage and inspire gay/bisexual men, including trans men, through the sharing of personal stories. I was born and grew up in Hong Kong. When I was a few months old, my mum found out that I couldn’t hear anything when she …

1 2 3 4 25
The Australian journal of sexual diversity.