Category Archive: relationships

Ghosts of friendships past: On divesting from privilege

A straight person I was once very close with contacted me recently, telling me how fondly he remembers our past and that he missed me. It drew a smile to my face and got me thinking about the friendships with straight and/or white people that have faded from my life. These people have occasionally appeared …

Queers and #metoo: discussing sexual assault in queer spaces

Content warning: this article contains discussion of sexual assault, queerphobia and transphobia, and violence Living in this world as a queer person can be exhausting at times. The incessant and ever-present narratives of heteronormativity are everywhere. On billboards, movies, and even on fucking packets of chips. While this is frustrating, we usually build queer spaces …

Fanfiction: Coding homosexuality as a teenager

When I was about 15, I was up to my neck in the fanfiction community. I had read the epics, masturbated to the smutty ones, and even dabbled in penning my own teen angst romance creations about the Canadian cartoon, Total Drama Island. They’re still online, but I’ll take my username to the grave. I …

Sugar babies: The delicate power balance

I grew up in an Asian household where sex was a topic that was never discussed. My mum is a single mother who brought me and my brother up as Japanese: we spoke the language at home, followed its cultural traditions, nuances and manners. The topic was taboo to the point where my mum had …

Archer Asks: Musician and performer, William Hannagan-Mckinna

In light of his self-released record, Small Cruelties, Melbourne based musician William Hannagan-Mckinna spoke to Archer about the inner-city-queer-millennial-experience, the breakup that instigated the record and his one true love, the club. Your sound epitomises ‘90s house meets queer disco’ and the lyrics deal with many funny and relatable queer-relationship tropes, that feel so relevant. …

Raising a rainbow family: slowly becoming visible

“Sisters?” asks the dishevelled guy in the sweltering hot elevator. My girlfriend has gold flecked blue eyes, straight blonde hair and a small round tummy—she’s five months pregnant. I’m half a foot taller with wavy auburn hair, deep set eyes and a larger frame. We’re both sweating as we look at each other, then at …

Asexuality and the politics of memory, abuse and consent

I had sex for the first time when I was sixteen. My boyfriend and I had a hotel for the weekend. The first night he set up candles and turned down the lights. It was respectably romantic. I faked a headache. At this point we had been dating for nearly a year and I had …

Drag king spaces in Sydney: Remember the King

I used to live diagonally opposite the Sly Fox Hotel on Enmore Road in Newtown, in a decrepit one-bedroom apartment above the local chicken joint. Back then, Wednesday nights in Sydney’s inner west were known as Dyke Night, during which groups of women weaved their way along the congested sidewalks, as bars and pubs hosted lesbian-targeted …

Hair and identity: Developing a femme aesthetic of queer diaspora

When I was 17, I cut off all my hair for the first time. I was freshly out of high school, freshly queer, and thrilled by the promise of finding queer community at university. I remember nervously holding my own gaze in the mirror as a hairdresser, with a magenta undercut and pierced septum, asked …

Opening up a relationship: Compersion, insecurity and ethical non-monogamy

Sunday morning and I’m sitting at the table in the Melbourne house I bought with Mojo, my partner of seven years. Our two cats groom each other in the sunlight. A Subaru is parked in the driveway. We tick all the boxes of middle-class lesbian cliché, although I’m a stripper and she’s a musician, so …

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The Australian journal of sexual diversity.